Yesterday I wrote a complaint letter because a boiler inspector broke into my home (okay, I had given him prior permission and he did have a key) to conduct a routine boiler inspection. Evidently, a “routine inspection” involves some sort of drilling work, which left dust and dirt and hunks of plaster on the inside of my boiler cupboard and across my kitchen surfaces. A “routine inspection” also apparently involves him opening my kitchen window and leaving it left wide open all day. When I got home that evening, I entered the apartment to be faced with a tall Marks & Spencer package standing in the centre of my hallway. I had indeed ordered said package (wrapping paper for the upcoming festive season of the Holy Lord) but I had forgotten that the boiler man had been scheduled to carry work out that day, while I was out (he obviously signed for the package when it was delivered). The flat was freezing cold, the lights had been left on and a teapot had been inexplicably moved in my kitchen.
I naturally freaked out and presumed immediately that someone who was into teapot voodoo had broken in, in my absence, and conducted some sort of curse on my home, having opened a window so that the evil spirits had easy access to the apartment. I did, however, think it was handy that they did this when the M&S man arrived, as this meant I wouldn’t have to go and collect my order from the depot.
Having remembered that the boiler man was due, I breathed a sigh of relief that my home hadn’t been subject to a break-in and then breathed an even bigger sigh of releif that I had a reason to write a complaint letter (it’d been a while). This got me thinking of Tiny Cups, the letter I wrote to the coffee supplier at my old work, which I am famous for in some districts, having blogged about it. I thought that it might be time to unleash to the world a letter I wrote in 2012 of the same vein. This, however, focused on cup LIDS (God I’m sad)…
To whom it may concern —
On Saturday September 8th I attended an evening showing of “The Possession” at the Odeon cinema in Maidenhead. Unfortunately, my experience there was a little hindered by a mistake made by one of your staff.
I sat down with the 4 other friends I was with, in the middle of them all. I had purchased a pepsi from your concessions counter in the foyer, which I went to take a sip from just as the movie was about to start.
The girl behind the drinks counter had, however, not sealed it properly. She had either balanced the lid on top of the cup or tried to attach a smaller lid to it. On top of this, she had filled the drink right to the top, which is fine, but not if you’re not going to attach the lid insufficiently.
As a result, as I picked the cup up, the lid came off and sticky soda was spilled all over me and the people on either side of me – one was drenched, the other splashed. My T-shirt was stained, my jeans were wet and I had sticky pepsi all over my arms; as did the people either side of me. This all happened as the movie was beginning. We couldn’t stay seated in those seats as they were wet, so we all then had to reshuffle and move around to vacant seats, disrupting other movie-goers and also interrupting the beginning of the film. I decided not to leave to wash my clothes and arms in the bathrooms, as I didnt want to miss any of the film, so sat there like that for the whole 2 hours. It wasn’t particularly pleasant and my friends were not pleased either.
I feel I deserve some form of compensation for this really. I already feel irked by the price one pays for the drinks at Odeon cinemas – I wouldn’t mind if the sizes weren’t so ridiculous. A small is the size of a child’s drink at a fast food restaurant – whereas in America, your large size would probably be a US small size. Add on to this the fact that lids aren’t put on these cups properly, only for me to get drenched with pepsi, and I feel its a bit of a joke. I hope you will see fit to compensate myself and my friends.
Odeon’s response. Note the fact that they apparently have “nest team meetings”…
Dear Mr Bullock
Thank you for your email regarding your visit to ODEON Maidenhead.
I was disappointed to read your comments and apologise that your visit was ruined by a spilt drink. I must admit to being perplexed by your comments – if a drink lid is not fixed correctly you can normally not pick the cup up as the lid makes it ridged enough to be carried. However, something clearly went wrong on this occasion and I have posted your email for discussion at our nest team meeting to ensure that it is reiterated to every team member, how important it is to take every care when serving our guests.
Your comments regarding our cup sizes has been passed onto our Retail Operations Department at Support Office, for their consideration.
As you obviously did not enjoy your visit I will post out to you five passes so that you and your friends may watch a film free of charge.
Thank you once again for taking the time to let me know your concerns.
Boom! 5 passes? Don’t mind if I do! I think I used one when I went to see “The Bling Ring”.